230: The girl boss movement is hurting women
BY Monica Yates
Today we are talking about how the girl boss movement is hurting women. Our core desires as a feminine woman are to feel connected, loved and nourished in our body and without those things we feel out of alignment. In the beginning when social media, the media or peers were using the term ‘girl boss’ I took it as a compliment, like a tick of approval. Somehow though, we have decided that we are more worthy, loved, accepted or successful as a woman if we are doing it all. If you are just doing one thing then you won’t feel like a ‘girl boss’.
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The meaning of success is so individual, how you define what success is to you will be different from others. I want to give you permission to define success in a way that feels really good for you. If you being a girl boss is what makes you feel successful I want to challenge you to think about where you got that idea from. We got that idea from the media that if we are doing it all, killing ourselves, hustling and burning ourselves out then we are successful enough. We got the idea that being a girl boss, praising women and forgetting about men, dominating everything and being the leader in our relationships means that we are being successful. My question for you is does that actually nourish your heart?
If you were to embody the definition of a girl boss your ego is probably really happy but is your heart really happy? Do you feel happy because you have actually just fulfilled an expectation of what makes you a strong leading woman? There are so many other ways to be a strong, amazing, leading woman where you do not need to burn yourself out, grind and live up to the expectation of a girl boss.
We think that we have to be everything and do everything in order to be happy and that is not true. You having help in different areas of your life does not mean that you aren’t killing it. You having help in different areas of our life means that you would like help so that you can do everything.
Asking for help is not admitting defeat, it’s being proactive and showing that you desire to be able to do the best job at everything. In order to do that you need help because there are only so many things you can do in one day and there are people who are better than you at certain tasks who will be able to exceed the job at hand because of their area of expertise.
When we strive to be this ‘girl boss’ we actually ignore our core desires and deny ourselves of the life that our truth wants to live. Many women desire to become a ‘girl boss’ for the external validation but hustling and grinding is not a healthy way to receive validation.
Let’s talk about how the girl boss movement is impacting romantic relationships. If you are positioning yourself as more worthy, work harder or are more deserving than your romantic partner because you are a girl boss how do you think that makes him feel? There is no ‘boy boss’ movement, there is no praise on men working hard or trying to do everything but as soon as a woman tries to do everything then she is a girl boss. Being a girl boss means not prioritising the number one need of a feminine woman, you don’t prioritise your relationship. There are definitely times and moments where I need to work and that is my focus but it is never conducted in a way that I am better or harder working or more worthy than my partner.
Why don’t we stop making ‘girl boss’ a compliment and instead just compliment women for doing a great job at something, whether it be running a business, being an amazing Mother, prioritising their romantic relationships or just doing what makes them happy.