229: Losing weight from a place of love | Energetic & emotional weight, trauma & weight gain
BY Monica Yates
Today I am talking about losing weight from a place of love and I am so excited to jam on this. I have had my own journey with my body and let’s be real, I think every single man and woman has had some sort of journey in terms of their relationship with their body. My purpose always is for us all to be living within our truth and in a respectful, kind and loving way with ourselves and with those around us. When I am talking about eating well, exercising, looking after yourself and all of the things that I do for my body and for my health they all come from a place of self-respect. I don’t want anyone to ever get confused with the thought that having a good relationship with your body means that you’re happy with eating junk food. You can have a great relationship with your body and still say no to junk food. Choosing not to consume junk food does not automatically mean that you have issues with food or your body. Social media makes out eating junk food and cake to be self-care and a form of loving yourself. To me, if you were to love yourself and respect your body you wouldn’t want to be eating those foods. That being said, in Europe recently I ate a lot of gelato, but the quality of food, pizza and pasta is so different over there.
LISTEN TO EPISODE 229
Respecting your body and loving your body does not mean that you need to eat shit food. That is not a form of self-love, in my mind it is a form of disrespect. If you are really respecting your body, you want to be conscious and aware of what you are eating. I have a very healthy relationship with food, and I have gone through my ups and downs with it but I am really aware of what I put in my body. That is not you having a disordered relationship with food, that is you eating from a place of love. When it is obsessive that is a whole other thing and often it is never actually about the food. The trauma that you haven’t dealt with as a child will show up in your relationship with food but it’s not necessarily about the food itself.
In the media there is so much about body positivity, which is a really great thing. What this means though it that many people feel shame about wanting to lose weight. You can want to lose weight and love yourself at the same time.
After my ski accident I was in a wheelchair for a month then crutches and then I had to learn how to walk again. I was eating the same food, but I couldn’t exercise. Once I was able to walk again my body hadn’t registered that I was safe, and I was gaining more weight. I ignored the fact that I was gaining weight because I was so in awe of the things my body could do again and thought that if I tried to lose weight that meant I didn’t love my body. I wish somebody gave me permission to know that I could love myself and still want to get back to optimal health. You wanting to have your body being at optimal health is a sign of self-respect and it does not mean that you don’t love yourself currently.
Also, if you have a fear of being seen this can result in you self-sabotaging where you will basically make yourself look a way where people don’t want to see you which can sound really harsh. The reality is that we are physical beings and we do judge and create perceptions very quickly based on a physical appearance. Maybe you feel that your beauty gets you in trouble and so you have decided to put on weight to avoid that and this creates an illusion of safety which isn’t true safety because it hasn’t fixed the root of that issue. Emotional weight gain is a real thing when you are wanting to protect yourself. Your body will try to physically protect yourself by gaining weight because when you are stressed your body wants to ensure that if there is a famine, you will survive.
If you are trying to change your body to feel enough, to feel worthy or to feel loved, you’re never going to feel that. Your body is never going to make you feel loved, enough or accepted. You have to fix that root first.