221: Owning our gender differences with Mike Gunner from Married at First Sight | Emasculation, backlash & BTS of MAFS
BY Monica Yates
Today I am speaking with Mike Gunner who appeared on season six of Married at First Sight (MAFS) back in 2019. In episode 41 Mike said that women cannot cope under as much pressure as men can. Mike unsurprisingly received a lot of backlash for this statement but as many of you will know, I am very fond of helping us dismantle this political correctness around men and women and understanding ourselves as biological beings and not trying to shove us into a box that fits a political agenda. I was really excited to have Mike on the show to chat with me about this topic.
LISTEN TO EPISODE 221
Mike didn’t realise that holding and sharing an opinion on gender politics issues would be so polarizing. He shared with me that the response to this comment was varied and received differently by different cultures but explains that many took it upon themselves to troll Mike and the entire cast of season six. Within the cast there was also conflict in regard to this topic. Mike was confronted when showing support for an absent contestant who’s character was under fire and says that this situation highlighted the double standard held by many women that women can speak to men in ways that men would be ridiculed and called out for. This is a concept that I always draw on, people will allow a double standard if it suits them but as soon as it doesn’t suit them they feel they have a reason to chop someone’s balls off.
We began speaking about third and fourth wave feminism and how this has influenced the culture around chivalry. Mike and myself obviously support first wave feminism, you would be weird not to support it. True feminism is just equality, equal standards and equal pay, everyone is for that. Mike acknowledged a change in how men approach women, using curtesy, pulling the chair out and being aware that men should take care of women now seems like a lost art. The thing is that this comes instinctively to men, they are biologically wired to provide and protect women across the board. The issue is that now so many men feel they have to check themselves and go against their biological nature because they are afraid of their whole name and career being ruined because of an innate desire to provide and protect. The thing that drives me up the wall is the amount of women who complain about there being no good men whilst simultaneously they are the women who are cutting men down.
Because of third and fourth wave feminism, men don’t know where to stand. Instead of the scales being set at even to resemble equality it seems to be tipping the other way completely. Men need to know their place and women theirs, and that’s where life and society will become more cohesive, Mike explained.
I asked Mike how he has experienced emasculation and his answer was very clear, he doesn’t. He said further, “I am wired that way, I am a gentleman first and foremost and am courteous to men and women… I know it almost before it’s happening and I just dig my heels in and I won’t allow it.” Mike said that a huge thing for him was to stop letting the opinions of others impact his state. “Literally overnight I just stopped caring and there is so much freedom in that.”
I finished the interview by asking Mike how he thinks the continuation of forth wave feminism and men being continuously emasculated will affect future boys. Mike answered that it comes down to the fact that the boys of tomorrow need role models and leadership.
“God put us on this earth and created us slightly differently, just embrace that, enjoy it and live and let live.” – Mike Gunner.