How to talk to your doctors

Going in to see your doctors can be really daunting. There have been numerous times where I’ve been made to feel dumb, worthless and stupid for asking for blood tests for my hormones because they are ‘normal.’ Newsflash. I don’t want to be normal, I want my bloods to be amazing. Or as close to perfect as possible!

Firstly, the ranges for blood tests can be very broad. These ranges include all the people in the population that have crap hormones as well as good hormones so whilst you might be “in range,” it doesn’t mean that your hormones are optimal.

Doctors are trained in school to counsel you on the ‘most effective’ hormonal birth control so please don’t be alarmed if they try to put you on the pill or the IUD to “fix” your problem. Just an FYI, no hormonal birth control fixes anything. It shuts down your system and you will have to deal with the problem (and often the problem becomes 50 times as bad) later in life. And who wants to deal with worse acne than before when they are 30 and also trying to have a baby? Not me!

Also, if you say to your doctor that you are doing the Fertility Awareness Method as your birth control, chances are that they will say that it doesn’t work and you’ll fall pregnant. They are probably thinking of the Rhythm Method which is very different, which I will talk all about in another blog post.

Doctors will also often tell you that your hormones are fine and in range. Or in my case, they will just say ‘your Sex Hormone Binding Globulin is really high, you must be on the pill?’ to which I respond ‘no I’m not on the pill.’ And then she just says ‘oh okay’ ….. like um hello are you going to wonder why it is so high then?

Some readings like TSH are ‘within’ range but the range is really out. The TSH range in Australia is 0.5-4 however it really should be 1.5-3 and ideally sitting around the 1.5 mark and further away from 3.

Your Estrogen: 

  • Day 3< 293 pmol/L
  • Day 14: 550-1284

and your progesterone in your luteal phase should be 47.7-79.5 nmol/L

Cortisol (serum) – optimal range is 275-413nmol/L in the morning

DHEAS (serum) – the optimal range is top half or normal range 200-380

Other things to note:

  • PCOS cannot be diagnosed by just an ultrasound and very often when you come off the pill you can have PCOS-like symptoms but these will go away with time.
    • There’s actually 4 types of PCOS which I talk about in depth in my Turning Off Your Period Problems Program
      • Adrenal PCOS
      • Insulin resistant PCOS
      • Post-pill PCOS
      • Inflammatory PCOS
  • An insulin resistance cannot be diagnosed by a glucose test. It needs to be tested by ‘fasting’ insulin or a ‘glucose tolerance test with insulin’
  • Do you have elevated Testosterone or another androgen such as androstenedione or DHEAS?
  • Progesterone needs to be tested. You want to see if you ovulated. Remember a progesterone test must be time to be about one week after ovulation or one week before your next period.
  • Iron – what is my actual ferritin reading? It should be greater than 50ng/mL
  • The pill bleed is not a real bleed
  • If they say the pill helps with bone health – research is actually showing that it DOESN’T

 

Remember ladies, that despite being an expert in this field, I still sometimes want to cry in the doctor’s office because they make me (sometimes) feel so stupid. Many of my friends that are also experts in the health field have also been made to feel very dumb, so please don’t get too worried if you do too! Remember to stand up for yourself and QUESTION THINGS! You know in your gut if something is wrong and there is NOTHING wrong with asking to get your bloods done!

 

This blog post is a generalisation about doctors not listening to us.

Is your anxiety affecting your sex?

Women with ‘anxiety’ (the reason that I put this in inverted commas is because this is generally something that people make up in their head, and then they hold onto the idea that they “have anxiety”), tend to have sex for the purpose of attachment. This can make sex intense, without it being pleasurable.

Anxious women will worry more about sex, yet they also equate the quality of sex with the quality of their relationship and generally, they also won’t enjoy the sex because they are so in their head the whole time.

Sex is about being 1000000% present. It is like you are in your own bubble and the rest of the world doesn’t matter. It is one of the most present things that you can do. However if you’re in your head the whole time, you aren’t being present and the sex isn’t going to be as enjoyable.

Anxious women are more likely to experience pain with sex and are more likely to use alcohol or other drugs before sex. Does this sound familiar? Are you one of the women that say to me ‘when I’m drunk the sex is good….’

I’m sure you’re already aware that you’re anxiety is affecting your sex life, but hopefully I’m really shining some light on this. Sex isn’t something that you can think about whilst your doing the deed. It is about surrendering, letting go and being in your BODY and out of your head. For most women this can be really challenging so I want you to write down 3 things that help you to calm the F down.

For me, my favourite things include dancing to music with my eyes closed and letting the music move my body, having a bath, or doing some sensual yoga.

This is what you need to do before you have sex.

Also. LOSE THE CONTROL! A man (generally speaking) wants to be in control and dominate and we want to surrender. It’s in our DNA and it’s our biology. When you constantly try and control sex, your man will feel emasculated (unless it’s the occasion where you are dominating him as a turn on/roll play – that’s different) and the polarity between you and him will diminish, making the chemistry weaker.

RELAX into your feminine and allow him to be the masculine one.

Also, if this blog post sounds like you; Babe, you NEED to fix your anxiety and get rid of it. This is what I’ve helped women do in such a short amount of time with my 1:1 coaching. Sex is important for you and your relationship. So, for your own sake, don’t let this slide.

Honour your cycle even after menopause

It came to my attention last week that I haven’t discussed menopause much and I know that a lot of women struggle with this transition into this phase of life. Some women love it because they don’t have a period anymore, others find that they feel less like a woman and some hate it because of the weight gain and symptoms.

I’m just going to be talking about how to understand the different ‘phases’ of your cycle when you DON’T have a cycle, so that you can still get the benefits of working with each of the 4 archetypes a fertile woman experiences in her life. These 4 different women are fundamental for allowing true grace and presence in our lives and to LOVE our cycle. When you shut down parts of yourself, or hate phases of your cycle, it’s usually a lack of understanding. The thing is that the more we shut down an aspect of our cycle, the more revenge it wants because it WANTS to be seen and heard.

…..then being able to work with this beauty can be missed by older women.

I’m here to say that it doesn’t need to be like this.

If you do not have a menstrual cycle, the energy of each phase can be integrated within you in association with the lunar phases. By following these phases, we allow the gifts of the archetypes to flow into her to be accepted, loved and most importantly expressed.

These energies come from our feminine soul within the womb centre and flow with the phases of our menstrual cycle, or the cycle of the moon. This creates the experience of the universal rhythms of the sacred feminine. Losing your cycle doesn’t mean you are losing your feminine. The feminine is an energy and you can come back to that whenever you would like.

So the 4 archetypes are:

The Maiden (she comes out in the follicular phase): This is the young girl who is independent, sexually desirable, authentic to herself, untouched by the influence of others

The mother (she comes out in the ovulation phase):This is the woman who is fertile, caring and selfless. She has an abundance of love and the power to nurture and provide for those around her. She is erotic and very sexually charged.

The Enchantress (she comes out in the luteal phase): She is the mature woman who is empowered, sexual, magical, wild and independent. She can also show herself as the ‘dark maiden’ because her wild side can come out.

The Crone (she comes out during menstruation): She is the ugly witch, the elder wise old woman, and focusing inward, away from the everyday drama/society and who will be silently in her portal between the worlds.

Accepting these energies can be hard for some women. Some women find it hard to connect with their ‘mother’ phase because they fear losing their ‘edge’ that makes them “successful” in their lives. Others find it hard to be open to their enchantress phase as their wild side can come out and she shows her colours as she is driven and compulsive. If you haven’t already downloaded my FREE ebook about the different phases of your cycle, you can do so here. This gives you a more in-depth look at each phase and how to tune into the different times of the lunar cycle for you.

So, if you are a woman without a cycle, listen to where the moon is and flow with that. “Do life” based on the moon and it will allow you to honour each of the 4 women inside you.

Often menopausal women feel lost, or they have built up anger because they are not allowing themselves to feel all 4 women. By feeling and experiencing all 4, it stops a build-up of any of the feelings that are stronger in some phases than others, and it allows you to flow and appreciate each different woman for her strengths.

For the lunar cycle:
The full moon is ovulation or the ‘mother’.

The new moon is menstruation or the ‘crone’.

As the new moon moves from the full moon to the new moon, you will come out of the crone to the Maiden, then the full moon will come and you will embody the Mother, then as the moon goes into the new moon, you’ll embody the Enchantress and so on.

If you are struggling with period problems, getting your period back or any hormonal balances, please book in with me so we can sort this for you! I love it when a woman goes from hating her cycle or not understanding what is up with her body, to absolutely loving the shit out of herself. It’s beautiful and I want this for you too <3

Lots of love xx