Last Friday I did something that I wouldn’t normally do – I got a tattoo! I didn’t know whether to post about it or not, but I realised that I want to share the reason why I got it with you guys as you might walk away with a nugget of wisdom….so here goes
I’ve wanted a tattoo for ages and decided in December to get one on my wrist after my skin holiday of a snowflake. I love the snow SOOO much – it’s my happy place, it’s magical and Mum used to always say to us when we were little and having a nightmare, “think of something good, think of skiing”. Anyway, then I had my ski accident and was like FUCK. And I kind of forgot about the tattoo for a week or so. But then as I started gaining insights from my accident about what I was learning about myself and life, I wanted the tattoo again as a constant reminder.
When I first had my ski accident, I was depressed for a bit because I thought that all the things that I wanted to achieve this year were gonna turn to shit because I couldn’t do anything. I wanted to get really fit skiing, and I couldn’t do that, my goal for the time that we were away was to practise yoga every single morning before I went skiing, but I couldn’t do that. I wanted to look and feel fabulous after my 5 weeks of exercise and eating healthy but of course, that didn’t happen. I wanted to move to Sydney when we got home, but of course, that didn’t happen.
But what did happen was this:
- I have done everything that I wanted to do work wise so far this year and my leg hasn’t held me back. Things might take me longer to do, but I’m getting more creative about doing things. I try and schedule Skype meetings instead of me needing to travel, and I meal prep so that I don’t have to waste so much time trying to cook a meal (it’s hard on crutches — hence the lack of new recipes – sorry guys!)
- This has made me realise that you are capable of SO MUCH MORE than you think. Even with a fucking shit situation, lots of drugs, crying, horrible situations and degrading moments (i’m talking when you can’t even wipe your own ass), I am still okay! In fact, I haven’t been this okay in a long time!! At the time of my accident I thought it was the end of the world, but during this time I have come to realise that I can push myself more than I give myself credit for
- I’ve also realised that you shouldn’t just be grateful for the big things in front of you like travel and your house, and your food…but of the little things like your toes, nails, legs, working knees, peachy bums!!!, feminine shapes, hip fat (because we need it to make a baby!!), arms, fingers, eyelashes (imagine life without eye lashes?!), eyebrows, YOUR EYES!!!!, your hair, your lungs, your heart, your lips, your ability to feel, smell and touch. It’s those little things that make the BIGGEST different to your life.
- I’ve also realised now more than ever is that life isn’t about situations. It’s about how you REACT to situations that make your life. I could easily have gone ‘fuck everything’ and just lay in bed for 2 months, but instead, I was like ‘OKAY!! I am gonna have to be a boss woman and I want to be proud of myself at the end of these 3 months). Also, life is what you make it. And it’s FRICKEN SHORT. Your life could be taken from you at any moment and do you want to die in fear? NO!!! You want to live with so much LOVE your going to explode. Seriously stop caring about how you look or about how fat or thin you are or about the size of your boobs or whatever you are hating over. And fricken STOP being negative (90% of the time cause sometimes we all need to have a rant and be human and hate on something) and stop obsessing over stupid things that don’t impact your life in a great way. Fricken ENJOY life for what it is! Start being HAPPY because don’t you want to die with a smile on your face and think, god damn I enjoyed myself?! I sure as hell don’t want to die with regrets that I wish I gave fewer fucks and enjoyed myself more.
Focus on how you FEEL within your body. Fuel your body with the best stuff because after all, that’s the best you can do! And then stop hating on yourself and your life. Fricken make the life you want to live, then own it and stop hating.
Anyway, even though I really wanted this tattoo I was so afraid that it was going to hurt so much so I wasn’t sure that I wanted it. and then i was like WHAT THE FUCK MONICA STOP MAKING SHIT UP IN YOUR HEAD!!!!! after all, I didn’t know whether it was going to hurt or not, I was just making it up in my head that it was going to hurt! Just like after my ski accident I was making up in my head that everything I wanted to do this year I now couldn’t do.
So I told my mean girl to fuck off and went to get the tattoo. Guess what, it barely hurt (not compared to my ski accident which was EXCRUCIATING…like 50/10 pain)!! So after I got it, it reaffirmed that all the stupid shit I tell myself is in my head.
All that shit you tell yourself like ‘so and so thinks I’m fat’, or ‘i don’t look good in this’, or ‘i’m not smart enough’ or ‘what if x and y think I’m a freak’…IT”S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!!!!
we’ve gotta stop making up this shit in our head and believing it
because it is HOLDING US BACK from fricken LOVING life,
and THRIVING and being our BEST SELVES!! it is destroying
our confidence and self belief and it is making us miss out on
I know the phrase #yolo is kinda lame now, but it really is my motto. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE so pleaseeeee just enjoy it! I have been telling myself this for a long time, but it only in the last 2 months that i have really been embodying it. Of course I have bad days (Especially now as i can’t do exercise and my circulation is fucked) where I’m not happy with my body, but then I also now remember that I can start to feel better in my body very soon once i’m able to exercise again, and I trust myself and am kind to myself and I on’y focus on what I can control – like enjoying life.
Another phrase I’m really loving is ‘things don’t happen to you, then happen for you’. I really do believe that everything happens for a reason and have seen this throughout my life so much.
This was actually going to be an insta post, but because it was such a long rant it’s now a blog post haha!
Go share it withe a friend that might take a nugget away from it xx